His Poor Insane Son
by CyborgSmeet
Summary: A girl talks Dib's dad into letting her babysit him so he will be less insane. Maybe it's just for the money...
1. Default Chapter

I don't care if you flame me as long as you tell me something you hate about my story.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Zim. Jhonen Vasquez does, and legally so does Nickelodeon, but in Zim's heart, in his SOUL! He will always be Jhonen's. Oh, I own Syb.  
  
A girl happily skips to the front office, since she's been working so hard lately they have to give her a break. Right? She asks for someone get her the binder that will tell her what her hours will be the following week, since being under five foot (although finished growing) she couldn't reach it. She looked inside, and when she did her look of excited hopefulness changed to a look of despair. She got even more hours than she usually did! Three hundred and twenty five hours of work. She didn't even think that there were that many hours in a week! Hey, wait a minute, there weren't that many hours in a week! There are only one hundred and sixty eight hours in a week.this was the final straw. She was going to get another job.  
  
She quits, and heads home. She has an idea of her new job. Professor Membrane's rich, right? He's got children, right? She also remembered hearing that the son was insane. Now, with all that inventing he does he couldn't possibly have time to take care of them, and last she heard they didn't have a babysitter. She was sure she could convince him to let her work for him, she could probably even get ten dollars an hour out of it. It wouldn't be that bad, either, maybe she could draw in her notebook while keeping an eye on the kids or something. She gets home, picks up the phone and dials. She magically knows Professor Membrane's phone number. Either that or she remembered it being said on his show once.  
  
"Hello, Professor Membrane?"  
  
"Hi! What can I do for you?" Professor Membrane responds.  
  
"My name's Syb, I'm looking for a job as a babysitter. I heard you son's insane, and I was thinking that maybe having a live person around the house more, like a babysitter, might make him less insane!"  
  
Professor Membrane pondered, "Hmmm, he is insane..how much do you charge?"  
  
"Ten dollars an hour!" 


	2. New job

A/n: Yes, this story will continue! Oh, arigatou for the reviews.  
  
Dictionary definition: Herb Scannel: 1.Head of Nickelodeon. 2. Very unprofessional man who hates Jhonen, so did his best to make the show fail despite the fact that Jhonen was his employee, meaning he should be treated well if an asset to the company. Since Nickelodeon was a company, and Jhonen was doing pretty good, a professional business man would have been fair to him even if they disliked each other.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim. Jhonen does. Oh, Nickelodeon does too I guess. If I did.I would have probably have gone insane from having to deal with Herb Scannel.  
  
Syb grabs her purse and notebook. On the notebook there is what looks strangely like a botched attempt the writer of this fic made at drawing Zim's Voot Cruiser. She leaves her house and begins skipping down the street. She sees a baby bird has fallen out of its nest, so she picks it up and puts it back. She skips on down the street, oblivious to the fact that the mother bird has just returned to the nest, and, smelling human on the baby bird, pecks it to death. Not noticing this, Syb continues on with her journey to her new job. Arriving at the door, she knocks. Dib answers the door.  
  
"Hi! You must be Dib. I'm Syb, your new babysitter."  
  
"Can I go over Zim's house?" Dib inquires.  
  
Syb answers, "Of course, as long as you're home before ten and don't get killed."  
  
Dib leaves. Syb looks over at Gaz. Seeing that she is just playing a video game, Syb opens up her notebook and begins drawing a picture. That picture is of an alien.  
  
A/n: Yes! I have cursed you with yet another SHORT CHAPTER! Mwahahaha. I really need to learn to stop posting these chapters before I've made them long enough. 


	3. Zim's Base

A/n: I give you, dun dun dunny! Another chapter! It's a long one.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim. I do not own it in a box, I do not own it with a fox, I do not own it in a tree, I do not own it on a bee, I do not own it Sam I Am, I also do not own Green Eggs and Ham!  
  
Dib dives behind a lawn gnome, then does a front roll and slips quietly, undetected behind another. He slowly creeps up to the house, opens the window, and jumps in. Zim isn't in sight, so he runs up to the toilet and flushes himself down it. After arriving in the lab, he sees Zim, out of his disguise, looking at a computer screen and talking. Dib ducks behind.something.  
  
Zim says, "Computer, why do these humans buy." Zim shudders before completing his sentence, "water?"  
  
The computer responds, "Humans will shrivel up and die without it."  
  
A huge grin spreads across Zim's face, "Yes! Computer, is my water balloon technology still operational?"  
  
Meanwhile, back at Dib's house, Syb is talking on the phone while looking in the freezer.  
  
"GUESS WHAT! Guess what, guess what!"  
  
"What?" responded the girl on the other line.  
  
"THEY HAVE TAQUITOS!" Syd screams over the phone.  
  
The girl Syb is talking to sighs, "You do know that the chicken in taquitos is really rat meat, right?"  
  
"That's disgusting! How could they lie to people about something that gross?" Then, seeing a rat run across the ground she adds, "Ooh yummy!"  
  
She pounces on the rat and eats it.  
  
Anyway, back to Zim's house, Dib is cutting a hole in what looks like a really big, empty balloon.  
  
Dib says, talking to himself, "There, now when Zim fills the balloon it will leak, and Earth's gravity will pull it back towards the planet!"  
  
Back at Dib's house, Syb has just drawn a picture of a rabbit so that if you flip it onto it's side, it's a duck.  
  
She's turning the picture over and over again, giggling and screaming, "IT'S A DUNNY! HEHEHE! A DUNNY!"  
  
Gaz turns towards her and says, "I am trying to win a game here, could you please shut up?"  
  
"Oh, sorry." Syb then proceeds to shut up.  
  
At Zim's house, Dib is doing a bunch of fancy moves to escape from Zim's house undetected. He somehow ends up crawling across the ceiling for a few seconds, but slips. Then.he falls into a trash can that was really a trash can. The can hits the wall causing 500lbs of stuff to fall on it, so when Dib pushes against the lid, he can't get it open. Just one chance of escaping, he hoped Gaz still had that communicator thing he gave her in case he ever got captured.  
  
Back at Dib's house, Syb hears a noise coming from between the cushions. She reaches down and finds a weird thingy with a broken screen and Dib's voice coming out of it.  
  
A/n: I'll end the chapter.here! 


	4. Not So Heroic Rescue

Yo recibo Gir! Es mignon! How to make a long chapter, very big challenge for me! I know, I'll just put the rest of the story in one chapter!  
  
Disclaimer: Invader Zim isn't mine. C'est Jhonen's, Nickelodeon's, et Viacom's. I also don't own that toe piggy thing.  
  
Dib is in a tube floating in a clear substance.  
  
"Now, to do horrible experiments on you now that you fell into my trap!" Zim says.  
  
"I fell into a garbage can, you didn't set any trap!"  
  
"Silence!"  
  
Dib continues, "Anyway, I don't even think you know what you're going to do, you've been saying the same sentence for the last three hours!"  
  
Zim responds, "Oh, I have haven't I? But I know exactly what I'm going to do with you!"  
  
Just then, Gir runs into the room bawling.  
  
Sighing, Zim asks, "What's wrong, Gir?"  
  
Holding up a very mangled taquito, Gir says, "It dieded!"  
  
Zim gets an idea and says, "Don't worry, Gir, I will make you a new taquito!"  
  
Dib, thinking he knows what Zim is thinking, says, "NO! Don't cut me up into little bitty pieces and wrap me in a corn tortilla!"  
  
Zim stares, "That's disgusting! No, what I will do is much worse! I will introduce taquito DNA into your system transforming you into the food that Gir likes so very much!"  
  
Confused, Dib replies, "Wait a minute, taquitos don't have DNA! I mean, I guess the meat in them does, and so does the corn, but, you can't."  
  
"Silence! Now, let the horrid experiments begin! I know what you're wondering. You're wondering why it's taking so long for your rescue-thing to come, well I knew about the transmission, so I increased the security setting on the base so that no one could break in!"  
  
"Why didn't you just do that before I broke in?"  
  
Entering the base, Syb is holding a large amount of raw meat and being followed by various animals. Lasers are shooting at her, but she continues skipping along oblivious. Occasionally one of the animals will get hit, but Syb remains untouched.  
  
"Oh, all these animals follow me wherever I go! I must be magicackle! Maybe it's the meat I'm holding. Nah! Couldn't be!" After saying this, Syb throws the meat and all the animals run after it.  
  
In Zim's lab, Zim is extracting taquito DNA from the dead taquito, when Syb skips in.  
  
"Aren't he the cutest thing you ever did see?" Says Syb, "Oh, I'm sorry cute little alien thing, but I have to take Dib back or I get fired."  
  
Everyone just stares at her, even Gir, who is swinging on a trapeze. Syb opens the tube Dib is in, letting him out.  
  
Seeing Dib's camera, she says, "Aww, you shouldn't have taken that with you, now I have to destroy it just in case the authorities get it and hurt the cute little alieny walieny!"  
  
Syb takes the camera and smashes it violently on Zim's machines, cackling and causing sparks to fly. After completely destroying the camera, she hugs Zim, causing him to scream, then scoops up Dib and takes him home.  
  
Dib screams, "But I could've proven he was an alien to the world!" All the way home.  
  
The end. Hmmm..still not a long chapter.oh well I tried! 


End file.
